For many adult children of aging parents, asking about finances feels like an invasion of privacy. Failing to discuss financial matters can leave families struggling later, though, so discomfort is no excuse for ignoring the subject. Instead, read on to find some tips and techniques for talking to elderly parents about finances that could make the conversation a little easier.
1. Don’t Focus on Money
This may sound a little counterintuitive, but one of the best ways to get aging parents to open up about financial matters in conversation is to start by talking about other, big-picture topics. Depending on the family, that could mean asking about how they want to spend their retirement years, what their preferences are when it comes to senior living options, or what sorts of care they want to receive later in life. These broad topics leave plenty of room for venturing into more direct discussions of finances once it feels more comfortable.
2. Ask for Advice
Some parents are more likely to openly discuss their finances when their children frame the conversation as asking for advice instead of offering help. Try asking for advice about how to save for retirement, for example, or how much life insurance to get in order to protect a growing family. The goal here is to get parents to open up about their own financial situations through the advice they offer to kids.
3. Share a Story
Stories almost always make good conversation starters, and discussions about finances are no exception. Telling stories about other families, real or imagined, can give aging parents an idea of what types of worst-case scenarios are out there for people who don’t have adequate plans in place. Try stories about:
- Families that wind up fighting in court as a result of failures in estate planning.
- People who fall prey to scams or identity theft and lose it all because they are afraid to ask for help.
- Elderly Americans who lose the ability to care for themselves as a result of accidents or health issues before assigning power of attorney.
- For those who don’t want to feel deceitful, there’s no need for these stories to be framed as personal narratives. It’s fine to talk about news articles, stories told by friends, or other less immediate issues.
4. Get Personal
One of the best ways to get someone to open up about a personal topic is to start by doing the same. Talking about one’s own experiences with financial management and estate planning is a great conversation starter. Even something as simple as telling parents about having a will drafted and letting them know where to find it should the worst happen can be easier than directly asking difficult questions. Parents often offer unsolicited advice or information at that point, and if they don’t, it’s easier to ask about similar experiences than it is to start a conversation about financial issues out of nowhere.
5. Find Out What’s Most Important
Asking parents what’s most important to them in terms of retirement goals is another great way to start a conversation that can eventually be used to learn about finances or offer help. For many people, maintaining independence is a top priority. That requires investigating assisted living options and finding communities that offer apartments within the retiree’s budget. Finding out what’s most important in terms of quality of living offers another avenue for asking difficult questions in a more comfortable context.
6. Offer to Lighten the Load
It’s often the case that aging parents have a harder time than they let on keeping track of finances and using modern tools to manage money. Offering to lighten the load can take some stress off their plates while simultaneously making it easier to keep tabs on spending and identify potential red flags. Try offering to create an online account for them at their bank or to pay for an accountant for tax preparation. In the process, try to find out the details of their financial situation to see if it’s time to take more drastic measures.
A Fantastic Option for Senior Care
Seniors who are having trouble with not just financial management but also maintaining independence in other areas of their lives may need some extra help. At Fountain Square of Lompoc, we offer luxury assisted living apartments and access to a vibrant memory care community. Those who are concerned about their parents’ home situations can reach out to speak with one of our dedicated staff members and discuss options by calling (805) 736-1234.
